


Full of Hope and Pain

by emeralddarkness



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1:00 visit graveyard, As a grave, Bucky is sort of present too, Gen, No Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Okay he's not actually present, Oneshot, Short, Steve's schedule of loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeralddarkness/pseuds/emeralddarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The graveyard stretched out in front of him in neat rows of headstones, a chronological record of military death. The crosses were white and neat, the grass was green and well-trimmed, and Steve knew as he looked over everything that at least two of the graves in front of him were empty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full of Hope and Pain

It was drizzling when he arrived, which seemed morosely appropriate. Of course, it could be looked at in a positive way as well; the wet would help keep the grass green, and it was certainly better than snow. Steve had liked the look of snow well enough once upon a time, though actually going out in it had tended to reduce him to wheezing from an asthma attack brought on by the sudden cold or shivering with a fever. By now he supposed he’d had enough of ice and snow to last him the rest of his life, for all that he doubted he’d be able to dodge it that long.

The graveyard stretched out in front of him in neat rows of headstones, a chronological record of military death. The crosses were white and neat, the grass was green and well-trimmed, and Steve knew as he looked over everything that at least two of the graves in front of him were empty.

It didn’t take long to find himself. Capt. Steven Grant Rogers, the cross said in neat block letters, followed by a brief service record and two dates. Jul 4 1918-May 4 1945. There wasn’t any extra fuss, no mention of Captain America, and as Steve Rogers looked down at his own grave he wondered if it was wrong to feel as grateful as he did for that fact. Captain America, whatever he had become, had started as a publicity stunt, and he had hated being differentiated from any other soldier any more than he had to be. They were the heroes, at least as much as him, and had managed it without a super serum to give them the edge – it wouldn’t have been fair that their treatment in death be any different than his.

The second grave he was here for wasn’t hard to find, once he’d found himself. There, right next to his grave in the neat little row, was Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes, Mar 10 1917-Mar 2 1945. That was both perfect and terrible, that they'd been buried together, as much as anyone who didn't have a body could be said to be buried. Two empty graves, side by side.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve said softly, hands in his pockets. “Guess I haven’t been keeping you company all these years like we planned it. Here I am, and you’re still on the wrong side of a headstone.” His chest felt tighter than it had since the serum had cured him of his asthma. It was strange, how strange it felt. “Peggy told me it was your choice, seventy years ago, you know. Guess she was right. But even if- Guess I wish I could have brought you back for a proper burial.” He stops there, for a lingering moment. "I wish you two could have gotten to know each other better. I think you'd have liked each other."

And what would happen now? Because Bucky was an empty grave, and Steve wasn’t, not any longer. They’d been together in that, at least, but now…. And, Steve found himself considering as he stared at his own neat tombstone, there was the question of what would happen to him when he died the second time round. Would they bury him here? Just leave everything the way it was until the time came for him to occupy the space that had been laid to him? Or would they pull his neat white cross out again now that he was alive and use the space for someone else?

“You wouldn’t believe what gas prices have done since we died, Bucky. Prices of everything, actually. And it’s not just the prices. I don’t think you’d even recognize coffee anymore, they put so much extra in it.” The rain started to pelt harder, proper rain instead of only a drizzle, and before long Steve’s hair was plastered to his head. He didn’t get sick any more, which removed the fear of anything but an uncomfortable ride home, but once….

It had been Bucky who’d hovered after Mom had died, forcing him inside and attempting to make something that was supposed to be tea if he was too cold. And that memory, of all the memories, was what made his throat go tight and close. He couldn’t say anything, not anymore, but he couldn’t leave either, so he stood there, on the wrong side of a headstone, and wondered why life couldn’t ever be simple.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love hearing from you with a review!


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